My little baby turned one today. Little sweetie woke up to nearly the minute of when contractions started, a year ago... at 2am! Yes, all day I was doing the, "Last year at this time..." thing. Last year at this time, I was shoving you and Chim out the door so you could drop her off at daycare as soon as they opened. Last year at this time, I was laboring at home when the Comcast guy came to fix the modem, and I pretty much scared the living daylights out of him. Last year at this time, we and the midwife were getting settled into the hospital room.... and of course that is where things get a little crazy in my memory, as I went to Labor Land. And then the eternal pushing phase which Mr. Sweetie told me today actually wasn't boring for him... so glad I kept him entertained!
As I rocked Badger before bed tonight, in what used to be our room and now is his, I thought of all the tears of mourning we cried when we thought he was not going to be joining us this time around, when an early ultrasound showed that the brain and cranium was not developed, and the tears of joy and astonishment we shed when we learned it was an error in the way the ultrasound data was interpreted, and a scan a week later showed a lovely head.
It's been an extraordinary 12 months. He has been a needful child, quite the opposite of his big sister. I have questioned my abilities to parent him well nearly every of the past 365. But as I see how sweet he is, how funny and selective with his smiles, and how carefully he considers the details around him, how perfectly BADGER he is, I feel that I am probably doing at least something right.
Baby Badger Boy -- I thanked your sister for making me a mom. You gave me a gift on your birthday as well. You helped me find a power I thought was gone. You helped me fix myself. Mama loves you, baby boy. I'm so glad you're here.
3 comments:
oh, that is so sweet. what a 'second chance' a person gets when they discover what the doctor said was actually wrong!
our babies turning one is so emotional isn't it?
sometimes i wonder about ultra sounds. i remember how exciting they were, but i've heard so many times from women who get false information. sometimes i wonder if it's worth the fear.
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