Now here is a helpful list of ways Dads can bond with a breastfed baby:
Breastfeeding Tips for Dads
And I love that feeding a bottle of expressed breastmilk was only #4 on the list. Being a cheerleader for mom, bathing the baby, and skin-to-skin cuddles are fantastic ways to be a present father. From my own experience, my husband brought the infant Chim to and from bed for me to nurse -- and that probably saved me, frankly.
Hooray for dads!!!
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attachment parenting. Show all posts
Cosleeping. With the Co- or the -sleeping.
Charlie is in a cosleeper. He sleeps well in the cosleeper from about 7-8pm until maybe 1am on a good night. I generally end up feeding him and falling asleep with him in bed. If I put him back in the cosleeper for the second half of the night -- well, he doesn't go to sleep. So it takes the "sleeper" out of cosleeper.
So I'm generally fine with having him in bed, cosleeping for realsies. Except for nights like last night when he was ready to greet the day at 4am. That was not OK. No co-. No -sleeping. I brought him downstairs, took the Circle of Neglect (haha, I just love Gretchen's term for the Exersaucer) into the bathroom and took a hot shower. I wasn't handling being woken up early very well and I didn't have the capacity for kind words or loving touch. A shower was just what I needed.
By 5am, I was relaxed and scrubbed clean of most of the bitterness of being up well before the sun. I had a cup of coffee in hand and I was ready to face the day. Of course Charlie wanted a nap by then. We nursed and snuggled on the sofa, and listened to my husband saw wood over the baby monitor. I dozed off myself, but not comfortably since I wasn't correctly positioned or covered (remember, it is January in Pittsburgh!), and if I'm going to share sleep space, I want to do it safely and on the sofa is NOT safely.
I think we need to put the crib together. I think it's time to at least start to ease our way into it. Charlie will hopefully be rolling over and I don't think the cosleeper is safe at that point. And I think it's possible that if I'm not there next to him, I will be able to put him back down and if he stirs, he will be able to settle himself as he does in the first half of the night.
On the other hand... it feels wrong to think about not having him with us.
So I'm generally fine with having him in bed, cosleeping for realsies. Except for nights like last night when he was ready to greet the day at 4am. That was not OK. No co-. No -sleeping. I brought him downstairs, took the Circle of Neglect (haha, I just love Gretchen's term for the Exersaucer) into the bathroom and took a hot shower. I wasn't handling being woken up early very well and I didn't have the capacity for kind words or loving touch. A shower was just what I needed.
By 5am, I was relaxed and scrubbed clean of most of the bitterness of being up well before the sun. I had a cup of coffee in hand and I was ready to face the day. Of course Charlie wanted a nap by then. We nursed and snuggled on the sofa, and listened to my husband saw wood over the baby monitor. I dozed off myself, but not comfortably since I wasn't correctly positioned or covered (remember, it is January in Pittsburgh!), and if I'm going to share sleep space, I want to do it safely and on the sofa is NOT safely.
I think we need to put the crib together. I think it's time to at least start to ease our way into it. Charlie will hopefully be rolling over and I don't think the cosleeper is safe at that point. And I think it's possible that if I'm not there next to him, I will be able to put him back down and if he stirs, he will be able to settle himself as he does in the first half of the night.
On the other hand... it feels wrong to think about not having him with us.
Dads and Breastfeeding
I read this really great post:
Breastfeeding Lessons from the Kardashians
Now, full disclosure, I have never seen the show. But I have nursed three kids and I can tell you from my experience, I never would've succeeded breastfeeding Chim without support from my husband.
He came to the classes with me. He advocated for me in the hospital, tracking down lactation consultants. He got up with the baby at night, changed her, brought her to me, helped me feed her if I needed help, and then took her back and rocked her to sleep if she needed it. And he gave me the best gift of all -- encouragement.
He is the one who told me to commit to breastfeeding just one more week. And then, another week. And by then -- oh look, we're almost to a month. We can make it to a month, right? And by then it was smooth sailing -- she was off any supplements, back past her birth weight, by far, and sleeping a good 6-8 hours at night (seriously, we had no idea how lucky we were!!!).
Having another person -- a husband, partner, friend, mom, mother-in-law, sister -- who will be a tireless cheerleader is SO important for a first time mom breastfeeding. Someone who won't say, however well-intentioned, "It's OK, you tried, there's nothing wrong with formula." It makes all the difference to have someone there to say (especially after a cesarean birth), "You can do this. You're doing it. Your body does work."
Breastfeeding Lessons from the Kardashians
Now, full disclosure, I have never seen the show. But I have nursed three kids and I can tell you from my experience, I never would've succeeded breastfeeding Chim without support from my husband.
He came to the classes with me. He advocated for me in the hospital, tracking down lactation consultants. He got up with the baby at night, changed her, brought her to me, helped me feed her if I needed help, and then took her back and rocked her to sleep if she needed it. And he gave me the best gift of all -- encouragement.
He is the one who told me to commit to breastfeeding just one more week. And then, another week. And by then -- oh look, we're almost to a month. We can make it to a month, right? And by then it was smooth sailing -- she was off any supplements, back past her birth weight, by far, and sleeping a good 6-8 hours at night (seriously, we had no idea how lucky we were!!!).
Having another person -- a husband, partner, friend, mom, mother-in-law, sister -- who will be a tireless cheerleader is SO important for a first time mom breastfeeding. Someone who won't say, however well-intentioned, "It's OK, you tried, there's nothing wrong with formula." It makes all the difference to have someone there to say (especially after a cesarean birth), "You can do this. You're doing it. Your body does work."
Charlie the Wonder Baby
I hope you all are having a lovely winter holiday season. Our main holiday is Christmas and we had a really pretty low-key celebration -- perfect! We went to services on Christmas Eve, then out to dinner with friends and home to wait for Santa. Opened presents and then made the trip over the mountains to my parents' house where we celebrated with all my brothers, their families, and a cousin I've not seen in a good 6 years. The kids had a lovely time, especially THE BABY.
THE BABY was the hit of the weekend and everyone commented on how pleasant he is, how happy he is, how he clearly loves everyone and everything.
AND YET...
The opinion from some of those giving the praise was that he should already be eating solids, he should not be breastfeeding as much ("Oh, I don't want to give you back to your momma, you can't be hungry, you JUST ATE!"), we should not be cosleeping, and we babywear excessively and hold him too much. And ooooooooh boy, did you see that the child is not circumcised?!
So even though we're committing all those parenting 'mistakes' he's a lovely baby. He's delightful in spite of our failures.
No chance he's a happy little dude because he has no reason NOT to be happy?
THE BABY was the hit of the weekend and everyone commented on how pleasant he is, how happy he is, how he clearly loves everyone and everything.
AND YET...
The opinion from some of those giving the praise was that he should already be eating solids, he should not be breastfeeding as much ("Oh, I don't want to give you back to your momma, you can't be hungry, you JUST ATE!"), we should not be cosleeping, and we babywear excessively and hold him too much. And ooooooooh boy, did you see that the child is not circumcised?!
So even though we're committing all those parenting 'mistakes' he's a lovely baby. He's delightful in spite of our failures.
No chance he's a happy little dude because he has no reason NOT to be happy?
So. Tired. And Ho, ho, ho, too.
I hope this finds anyone who is still reading my poor blog well. Life as a mom of 3 is really kicking my butt lately. The formerly awesome sleeper is really not doing very well in the sleeping department for the past, oh, 2 1/2 months, but he sure is adorable and sweet when we're holding him! Put him down, though, and oh the crying! I am trying to keep my head on straight this time -- Badger was the same way and it really did drive me nuts. I don't want to be nuts again. I have been feeling a little bit nuts lately between the sleep issues, keeping kids' schedules straight, and recovering from our Thanksgiving trip to New England and preparing for Christmas. I'm trying to simplify and appreciate what is important.
This time around I really feel like I'm parenting the baby the way I wanted to with the other two but didn't have the information, resources, or courage of convictions. Since I am not comfortable bedsharing due to hubby's ability to sleep through anything, Superbaby's in an Arm's Reach Cosleeper. However, once he wakes up at night, he won't go back to sleep unless I am holding him... so we end up with him in our bed anyway. I wear him a lot, and still exclusively breastfeeding. Cloth diaper is going MUCH better. I really like the BumGenius 3.0s.
Badger's doing really well -- he's in a 2-day-a-week program that gets kids with special needs ready for Pre-K, and he just loves it. Chim is still doing well in her Pre-K and she's really looking forward to Christmas.
In doula news -- well, I am still not able to work since the baby's still not nearly sleeping through the night. In addition to not wanting to leave my husband with a baby that he can't soothe, I can't imagine what a terrible doula I'd be, being as sleep-deprived as I am. I'm barely functioning in my role as cook, chauffeur, and Santa Claus. But I have been getting the itch to go back to births -- been starting to read the birth blogs again, etc. December offered two birthy events -- Heart & Hands' Doula Service quarterly meeting, where it was so nice to touch base with all the doulas, and a party for Mr. Midwife, who marked 10 years of catching babies in Pittsburgh.
So my friends -- please do forgive me for being so terrible about blogging. I'm sure it's just left a gaping hole in your lives. ;) I just wanted to put out some happy holiday wishes!
This time around I really feel like I'm parenting the baby the way I wanted to with the other two but didn't have the information, resources, or courage of convictions. Since I am not comfortable bedsharing due to hubby's ability to sleep through anything, Superbaby's in an Arm's Reach Cosleeper. However, once he wakes up at night, he won't go back to sleep unless I am holding him... so we end up with him in our bed anyway. I wear him a lot, and still exclusively breastfeeding. Cloth diaper is going MUCH better. I really like the BumGenius 3.0s.
Badger's doing really well -- he's in a 2-day-a-week program that gets kids with special needs ready for Pre-K, and he just loves it. Chim is still doing well in her Pre-K and she's really looking forward to Christmas.
In doula news -- well, I am still not able to work since the baby's still not nearly sleeping through the night. In addition to not wanting to leave my husband with a baby that he can't soothe, I can't imagine what a terrible doula I'd be, being as sleep-deprived as I am. I'm barely functioning in my role as cook, chauffeur, and Santa Claus. But I have been getting the itch to go back to births -- been starting to read the birth blogs again, etc. December offered two birthy events -- Heart & Hands' Doula Service quarterly meeting, where it was so nice to touch base with all the doulas, and a party for Mr. Midwife, who marked 10 years of catching babies in Pittsburgh.
So my friends -- please do forgive me for being so terrible about blogging. I'm sure it's just left a gaping hole in your lives. ;) I just wanted to put out some happy holiday wishes!
Whoa. Hathor is UNMASKED!
strange happenings over at Hathor the Cow Goddess. Looks like she's now just "mama"!
She's fierce and kinda scary. I like her!
She's fierce and kinda scary. I like her!
Babywearing Stash Contest!
Boy, what a prize package this is:
Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)
It would be a great resource to have this stash so my clients could try out different carriers and not go broke!
Win the Essential Babywearing Stash from Along for the Ride (one Beco Butterfly, one Hotsling baby pouch, one BabyHawk Mei Tai, one Zolowear Ring Sling, and one Gypsy Mama Wrap)
It would be a great resource to have this stash so my clients could try out different carriers and not go broke!
Looking for Babywearing Recommendations...
What was your favorite way to wear your newborn? I never did except for a few brief times I put the babes in the Bjorn (I have to say, I really liked the dummy-proofness of that!) but I'd like to be better versed in a wider variety so I can recommend them to clients.
I love the mei tai but I never ever felt like a small one was secure.
I love the mei tai but I never ever felt like a small one was secure.
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