Putting an end to the chapter.

So today I paid my midwife for the balance of my care from the miscarriage (and not for nothing, "spontaneous abortion, uncomplicated" sounds a lot less miserable than it really was.) and actually put my maternity clothes back into storage and out of sight. I've finished up two cycles since the miscarriage and now that my body's resuming its rhythm, such as it is, I have more confidence that my body did what it needed to do to protect itself and remain in good working order.

I still can't decide what's next -- whether Chim and Badger are going to be our two only kids (and they are plenty, believe me) or whether there's another little oddball somewhere in the ether who will make his or her home with our family.

The questions that I asked myself before the miscarriage was, can I take another difficult birth like Chim's, or a difficult sleeping situation like Badger's? The answer clearly was, "Suuuuure, I guess so!" The question I now ask myself is, can I get through another miscarriage? I still don't know the answer to that one as I feel I've barely made it through this one. I really don't know if I can do this again.