I'm a virtuous woman.

At least, according to the woman I talk to on the phone every blessed day regarding the tree that has been in my yard for a MONTH. Come on now, a MONTH!? The city is dicking around, shoving this case from department to department. But I apparently have a pleasant, patient demeanor on the phone when calling about this... for all the fucking good it does me, right?

The tree will ROT AWAY before they do anything about it, I swear to God. I know what they're doing: they're banking on the fact that no reasonable person would wait this long to get this taken care of. And they're right. But we're not reasonable. We are the perfect combination of stubborn, lazy, annoying, and broke. You want to dick around all summer and have me call you every day? Great! Because I don't have a few thousand bucks to get this taken care of. I do, however, have plenty of time to call you, your counterpart in every other possible related department, your supervisors, and the mayor's office. So try me, really. Don't bet on our being reasonable people!

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